I suspect that,
no matter what kind of person you are, whether one who deals well with change or not-so-well, whether emotionally insensitive or a big softy, whether you actually "felt" changed by your time away or not,
re-adjusting back to life at home is not going to happen immediately.
Because you won't just be re-connecting all the friendships you physically disconnected when you left for study abroad (yeah, yeah, there are Facebook, and e-mail, and Skype and so on, but it's not the same), you will also be re-figuring your connections with all the new friends you fell in love with abroad (repeat previous parenthetical point). Both of those things take time.
"make new friends and keep the old,
one is silver and the other gold."
well, I don't know how the composer of that couplet determined when new things became old, but
you're all gold to me now.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
and so it end...ed
I've been home for more than a week and made not a single bit of progress in catching up on this blog! :D
Study abroad is over.
"Real life" begins again...except it's winter break, so I'm still on vacation.
And then, "real life" begins after graduating from school...
And then, that might not feel real enough, so "real life" might not start until I get married and have kids...
At this rate, when will I ever enter real life?!
Maybe my whole life is real already.
Including Japan. Including college. Including everything I have ever been a part of.
All of that, and right now, is a whole lot more "real" than the future I can't predict or control.
2010--hard times though there were, may I always remember it as a seriously God-blessed year.
2011--let's go even further~
Study abroad is over.
"Real life" begins again...except it's winter break, so I'm still on vacation.
And then, "real life" begins after graduating from school...
And then, that might not feel real enough, so "real life" might not start until I get married and have kids...
At this rate, when will I ever enter real life?!
Maybe my whole life is real already.
Including Japan. Including college. Including everything I have ever been a part of.
All of that, and right now, is a whole lot more "real" than the future I can't predict or control.
2010--hard times though there were, may I always remember it as a seriously God-blessed year.
2011--let's go even further~
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Time is tickin’, T-Time is tickin’ away…
"One (feat. Ji-Sun)" by Epik High is a prettttty cool song. I just looked up the lyrics, conveniently found a translation, and ummm, gosh, I think I'm going to need to re-read this a few more times before I understand...
BUT the point is:
4 days left.
no way.
no way.
no way.
...
I always knew the end would be difficult, but...oh, this is ridiculous. ;-;
I won't say that there's nothing good about good-byes (ha, just look at the name!)...but [no words left to properly express how I feel]...
~*~*~*~
it suddenly got suuuper cold these past few days (single digits, in celsius, admittedly still positive numbers), but according to tenki.jp, will warm up again next week...very slightly.
BUT the point is:
4 days left.
no way.
no way.
no way.
...
I always knew the end would be difficult, but...oh, this is ridiculous. ;-;
♥ Our Christmas/Holiday/Goodbye/Final Family Dinner ♥
I won't say that there's nothing good about good-byes (ha, just look at the name!)...but [no words left to properly express how I feel]...
~*~*~*~
it suddenly got suuuper cold these past few days (single digits, in celsius, admittedly still positive numbers), but according to tenki.jp, will warm up again next week...very slightly.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
this is FINALS WEEK
trying to write final papers on top of overwhelming feelings of anticipatory sadness is difficult.
figuring out what topic to write on the night before the paper is due was a bad, bad idea.
a note to future KGU exchange students: do as much of your work as you can, as early as possible.
Otherwise you're left juggling:
figuring out what topic to write on the night before the paper is due was a bad, bad idea.
a note to future KGU exchange students: do as much of your work as you can, as early as possible.
Otherwise you're left juggling:
- FINALS--studying for tests, writing papers, projects/presentations....
- packing
- sending stuff home by post
- goodbyes, goodbye parties
- last-minute traveling
- souvenir shopping
- selling your bicycle
- all the fun of "terminating" your status as a student at KGU
- a deep desire to slow down, really pause and reflect on how damn quickly this semester's gone
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Everything I Want to Say and More
Ohohohoho...I didn't update at all during November, did I..
:P
Doesn't mean I didn't want to update, though! REALLY.
For your anticipatory pleasure, here are various drafts I have in progress (some have been sitting for almost 2 months now, haahahahaha):
Other things, not yet drafts, but definitely worth mentioning:
Entries will probably also pop up as I procrastinate on final papers~☆
楽しみにしてね～ (tanoshimi ni shite ne~)
Look forward to it! :)
:P
Doesn't mean I didn't want to update, though! REALLY.
For your anticipatory pleasure, here are various drafts I have in progress (some have been sitting for almost 2 months now, haahahahaha):
- Hiroshima trip
- Tokyo trip
- Being Christian in Japan
- Analog Fish live (concert) in Osaka
- Things I like to complain about
- my 枚方市 (Hirakata-shi, the town I've been living in these past few months..) family ♥
- etc.
Other things, not yet drafts, but definitely worth mentioning:
- 紅葉 (kouyou, autumn leaves turning colors) trips
- my participation in 華道部 (kadoubu, flower arrangement club), where we do 生け花 (ikebana, flower arrangement)
- super-long-awaited home visit in Wakayama
- seeing Merry live
- final update on how the "study" in study abroad actually happens in reality
- living in Seminar House 4
- food-related nonsense
- etc.
Entries will probably also pop up as I procrastinate on final papers~☆
楽しみにしてね～ (tanoshimi ni shite ne~)
Look forward to it! :)
Sunday, October 31, 2010
time goes by...
FAR TOO QUICKLY.
"so slowly"?! Madonna is so wrong.
(by the way, just for context, I'm supposed to be writing a paper for my Japan-China class right now... maybe we can say this is warm-up? I've discovered this excellent trick with coffee for people, like myself, with low caffeine tolerance: drink a little coffee at a time and then a lot of water; sure, you end up going to the restroom quite a bit, but this way the caffeine gives you a boost while the water keeps you hydrated and refreshed☆)
Just for masochistic pleasure and general procrastination, I've put a little countdown-thingy on the right-hand side of my main blog page, underneath the little "about me" blurb. Shouldn't be too easy to miss. Those awaiting my glorious return to the Bay (SF Bay, the only one that matters of couuuuurse) can clap in delight as the number spirals down. For me, I shall be mildly panicked every time I see it and how much more reduced it is compared to the last time I looked.
In other news, I've booked a rather last-minute trip to Tokyo for the next weekend (Nov. 5-8). And yes, I will be skipping a couple days of class, hahahahahaha~ As for how much money I'll be spending............we can address that later, when I've taken some pretty pictures to prove that it was worth however-much-it-is. 8D
Okay, there are lots of topics I want to write about here, but first, that midterm paper.....
Ah, priorities...
"so slowly"?! Madonna is so wrong.
(by the way, just for context, I'm supposed to be writing a paper for my Japan-China class right now... maybe we can say this is warm-up? I've discovered this excellent trick with coffee for people, like myself, with low caffeine tolerance: drink a little coffee at a time and then a lot of water; sure, you end up going to the restroom quite a bit, but this way the caffeine gives you a boost while the water keeps you hydrated and refreshed☆)
Just for masochistic pleasure and general procrastination, I've put a little countdown-thingy on the right-hand side of my main blog page, underneath the little "about me" blurb. Shouldn't be too easy to miss. Those awaiting my glorious return to the Bay (SF Bay, the only one that matters of couuuuurse) can clap in delight as the number spirals down. For me, I shall be mildly panicked every time I see it and how much more reduced it is compared to the last time I looked.
In other news, I've booked a rather last-minute trip to Tokyo for the next weekend (Nov. 5-8). And yes, I will be skipping a couple days of class, hahahahahaha~ As for how much money I'll be spending............we can address that later, when I've taken some pretty pictures to prove that it was worth however-much-it-is. 8D
Okay, there are lots of topics I want to write about here, but first, that midterm paper.....
Ah, priorities...
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Object Permanence
Last night while we were hanging out in the lounge, "studying" (aka, sharing stupid YouTube videos, updating Facebook/blogs, maybe doing homework) as usual, someone mentioned,
"We're already halfway done."
My gut reaction was to let out an anguished yell, so I did. I also requested, in a slightly panicked, manic manner, that they please, please not talk about it anymore.
Anyway, the general idea I'm trying to convey is: My time here is short, and hitting a milestone (like midterms) is a brutal awakening to that fact.
I've visited some pretty cool places, like Kyoto's Kiyomizudera, Shinsaibashi and Peace Osaka, Hiroshima, and Kanazawa...but there are still tons of other cities and sights I wanna see.
I've been doing okay in Japanese class, covering the material, and using Japanese every day...but I'm still far from comfortably conversing and conveying my ideas satisfactorily. Not to mention, my kanji = crap.
I fall asleep exhausted every night, spend plenty of time with people instead of hermit-ing in my room (like right now, hahahaha)...but it still seems like there's so much more I should be doing.
In a way, here and now is all there is--at least, that's how part of me wants it to be. Just live in the moment, laugh and have your fun while can, don't worry about tomorrow.
Another part recognizes, very practically, that there's a lot waiting for me when I fly home--family, friends, fellowship. Every moment spent on things-not-here-and-now is a moment invested in the future. Those things don't cease to exist because I'm not there, obviously, but when they're so far away...it's almost easier if they don't. Like a baby playing peek-a-boo, if I cover my eyes, they're gone. If they aren't there, it's easier not to miss them, easier not to keep in contact, easier to live in the now..
But that kind of thinking is meaningless and immature.
I do miss everybody back home, want to know what's going on in their lives, even as I am thousands of miles away, occupied in far too many ways. It's hard, truly difficult for me to stay in touch with people over long distances--it's a serious character flaw, or something. But I'll do best I can....and when I alone am not enough, pray to God for the strength to go on. Remembering that as a Christian, my life is centered on God and lived within the context of eternity, there is much, much more than just here and now.
I will treasure everything that happens here, that I learn here, that I find here, but I must also continue to keep close to my heart those that sometimes seem so far away.
Thursday, October 14, 2010 @ 9:51 PM
"We're already halfway done."
My gut reaction was to let out an anguished yell, so I did. I also requested, in a slightly panicked, manic manner, that they please, please not talk about it anymore.
Anyway, the general idea I'm trying to convey is: My time here is short, and hitting a milestone (like midterms) is a brutal awakening to that fact.
I've visited some pretty cool places, like Kyoto's Kiyomizudera, Shinsaibashi and Peace Osaka, Hiroshima, and Kanazawa...but there are still tons of other cities and sights I wanna see.
I've been doing okay in Japanese class, covering the material, and using Japanese every day...but I'm still far from comfortably conversing and conveying my ideas satisfactorily. Not to mention, my kanji = crap.
I fall asleep exhausted every night, spend plenty of time with people instead of hermit-ing in my room (like right now, hahahaha)...but it still seems like there's so much more I should be doing.
In a way, here and now is all there is--at least, that's how part of me wants it to be. Just live in the moment, laugh and have your fun while can, don't worry about tomorrow.
Another part recognizes, very practically, that there's a lot waiting for me when I fly home--family, friends, fellowship. Every moment spent on things-not-here-and-now is a moment invested in the future. Those things don't cease to exist because I'm not there, obviously, but when they're so far away...it's almost easier if they don't. Like a baby playing peek-a-boo, if I cover my eyes, they're gone. If they aren't there, it's easier not to miss them, easier not to keep in contact, easier to live in the now..
But that kind of thinking is meaningless and immature.
I do miss everybody back home, want to know what's going on in their lives, even as I am thousands of miles away, occupied in far too many ways. It's hard, truly difficult for me to stay in touch with people over long distances--it's a serious character flaw, or something. But I'll do best I can....and when I alone am not enough, pray to God for the strength to go on. Remembering that as a Christian, my life is centered on God and lived within the context of eternity, there is much, much more than just here and now.
I will treasure everything that happens here, that I learn here, that I find here, but I must also continue to keep close to my heart those that sometimes seem so far away.
Thursday, October 14, 2010 @ 9:51 PM
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)