国内／海外

国内 kokunai ：internal, domestic
海外 kaigai ：overseas, abroad, foreign

exactly three months since I've come back to the USA from Japan.

I was only in Japan for about four months, so the time since my return is steadily growing closer to exceeding the time I actually spent there.  (Which is sort of negligible, considering that my previous twenty years of life were all spent outside of Japan.  anyway.)  I'm pretty used to being back at Berkeley now...not totally, but much closer to before-study-abroad than where I was in my last post. 

Lately, a couple people have said to me things like, "good thing you went to Japan last semester, eh?" or "aren't you glad you came back for spring?" 

Who could've foreseen the enormous earthquake that hit on March 11?

It's Japan, so earthquakes are kind of a given...and I'm from California, where earthquakes are also not-so-surprising...but a 9.0?  With aftershocks ranging from 5.0 - 7.5?

from the news sources I've read through, though...in spite of all the terrible things--nuclear threat; inhospitable climate (ex: snow); lack of gas, food, and shelter; people stranded far from home and loved ones; death; suffering; too much to list...--Japan has been prepared for disaster, and that has saved lives.  Buildings that have been earthquake-proofed; alert systems; improvements in government response compared to the last huge earthquake (Kobe); a culture that seriously respects and values community; stories of individual and team heroism, narratives of hope spread through social media like Twitter/Facebook/etc and also through traditional news outlets. 

Japan's people have suffered and many are still suffering, ten days later.  It's the greatest national crisis since World War II; recovery is going to take a while...a lot longer than ten days, or even ten months.  And what defines "full recovery" anyhow?  I don't know...

Honestly, and for reasons beyond physical safety, I am glad to be home.
My heart flies back to the people in Japan, though, especially those in the Tohoku region, but definitely to all affected by this quake.  And I wonder, a bit, at how different my study abroad experience might have been if I'd gone this semester, or stayed over from fall.  How is everything different because I am seeing it from the outside, from overseas?  What is it like being there, seeing from within?  I cannot really know, and I'm not sure exactly how much I should try...

All sorts of distances and divisions separate me from Japan.
But these are all overcome by shock at the enormous loss of life, sympathy for those who suffer, our shared humanity, and hope.  Hope that is inspired by great examples, large and small, of those contributing to relief efforts and recovery; hope that is inspired by how the Japanese government has adapted its strategies and learned lessons from past disasters; hope that, through this difficult time, people will emerge with greater love and value for one another.

~*~*~*~

Recommended donation sites: Global Giving, Red Cross
other people have already made the persuasive arguments for why giving money is an effective way of helping.  These links are just here as an option.  In my opinion, they are a good option.

and so it end...ed

I've been home for more than a week and made not a single bit of progress in catching up on this blog! :D

Study abroad is over.

"Real life" begins again...except it's winter break, so I'm still on vacation.

And then, "real life" begins after graduating from school...

And then, that might not feel real enough, so "real life" might not start until I get married and have kids...

At this rate, when will I ever enter real life?!

Maybe my whole life is real already.

Including Japan.  Including college.  Including everything I have ever been a part of.

All of that, and right now, is a whole lot more "real" than the future I can't predict or control.

2010--hard times though there were, may I always remember it as a seriously God-blessed year.

2011--let's go even further~

Object Permanence

Last night while we were hanging out in the lounge, "studying" (aka, sharing stupid YouTube videos, updating Facebook/blogs, maybe doing homework) as usual, someone mentioned,

"We're already halfway done."

My gut reaction was to let out an anguished yell, so I did.  I also requested, in a slightly panicked, manic manner, that they please, please not talk about it anymore.

Anyway, the general idea I'm trying to convey is: My time here is short, and hitting a milestone (like midterms) is a brutal awakening to that fact.

I've visited some pretty cool places, like Kyoto's Kiyomizudera, Shinsaibashi and Peace Osaka, Hiroshima, and Kanazawa...but there are still tons of other cities and sights I wanna see.
I've been doing okay in Japanese class, covering the material, and using Japanese every day...but I'm still far from comfortably conversing and conveying my ideas satisfactorily.  Not to mention, my kanji = crap.
I fall asleep exhausted every night, spend plenty of time with people instead of hermit-ing in my room (like right now, hahahaha)...but it still seems like there's so much more I should be doing.

In a way, here and now is all there is--at least, that's how part of me wants it to be.  Just live in the moment, laugh and have your fun while can, don't worry about tomorrow.

Another part recognizes, very practically, that there's a lot waiting for me when I fly home--family, friends, fellowship.  Every moment spent on things-not-here-and-now is a moment invested in the future.  Those things don't cease to exist because I'm not there, obviously, but when they're so far away...it's almost easier if they don't.  Like a baby playing peek-a-boo, if I cover my eyes, they're gone.  If they aren't there, it's easier not to miss them, easier not to keep in contact, easier to live in the now..

But that kind of thinking is meaningless and immature.

I do miss everybody back home, want to know what's going on in their lives, even as I am thousands of miles away, occupied in far too many ways.  It's hard, truly difficult for me to stay in touch with people over long distances--it's a serious character flaw, or something.  But I'll do best I can....and when I alone am not enough, pray to God for the strength to go on.  Remembering that as a Christian, my life is centered on God and lived within the context of eternity, there is much, much more than just here and now.

I will treasure everything that happens here, that I learn here, that I find here, but I must also continue to keep close to my heart those that sometimes seem so far away.

Thursday, October 14, 2010 @ 9:51 PM